I regret to report that I am currently using the Secateurs of Shame which are bright orange and cannot be lost. Unlike the Ultra Secateurs which have titanium edges to the blades, extra safety features and green handles. MrM has lived under emergency measures for the past year with the strict understanding that he must not, ever, on any account, even think of using the Ultra Secateurs which have my name written on them in capital letters for the avoidance of doubt. They have retained their fresh-from-the-box look due to a religious attention to cleaning and oiling. All of which will not help them when they reach the recycling centre in the pile of clippings where I last saw them. All I have to do now is explain the incident to MrM but that is a problem for Future Alice. In the meanwhile here is somebody else's front door and somebody else's Pyracantha.